Not so happy birthday

It's funny how throughout the build up and countdown to any birthday, especially as a child, you'd get butterflies in your stomach and just feel so excited that you could burst.  I remember when I was young and asking my mom if she was excited for her birthday, and she would say that it's different when you're older. I guess I must be older now, because that's how it felt for me.  Just another day, except for the fact that from now on, I need to remember to say that I'm 27 instead of 26 when people ask me.

But still, my birthday on Wednesday started off happy.  It was going to be super hot and humid (which is just ridiculous for this time of year), but other than that, I was good.  Any day is a good day when it starts by seeing Abigail wake up with a smile.  Work was good too.  My kids remembered it was my birthday, and one of my students even brought me a little gift. :)  The plan for the evening was to go out to dinner with Michael and my siblings to Cheesecake Factory.  On my drive to work, I got text messages from Justin (my brother) and Kayla (my sister) confirming the time and location.  I also found out that my cousins GJ, Leslie and Tracy were going to come meet up with us too.  Great! :)  However...after work when I got home, I received a call from my sister telling me why my mom never called to greet me happy birthday.  Apparently she was with my brother who was in the ER.  She didn't want to call me while I was at work and upset me with the bad news.

(Side story:  Several months ago, a little bit before Abigail was born, my brother went snowboarding and fell.  He complained of back pain and got it checked, but everything was attributed to inflammation from the fall and sciatica.  The week before Abbie was born, he complained again to my dad and he told my brother that he would take him to the doctor to get it checked.  Unfortunately, right after the baby was born was when my dad had his stroke and then passed away.  Because of the funeral and everything that comes after a family member passes away, my brother's back issues (which still bothered him on and off) were pushed to the side.  Eventually, he started complaining again to my mom, so she got him an appointment for an MRI to get it checked.  This test from last week showed that he had a herniated disc. A course of treatment would be devised for him.)

Now back to my original story--  On my birthday (Wednesday), my brother went to school and took his final, and then came home.  He complained of being in a lot of pain and that he felt the numbness down his leg again.  Within a couple hours, it got worse and he could barely walk.  My mom and sister took him to the ER at my mom's work.  By the time they got him in and checked, he had already lost feeling in his legs from the waist down, and he could not move.  Tests and scans were done and it showed that there was a lot of swelling and a hematoma (a buildup of blood) and his cerebrospinal fluid was leaking out.  Since it was my birthday, my mom and brother insisted that we still go to dinner, and said that they wouldn't know how long he'd be there.  Hopefully he would be released the next morning.  We visited him at the hospital that night and learned how serious his condition actually is.  He was very brave, and only complained that he was hungry and thirsty.  He was not allowed to eat or drink just in case they needed to take him in for surgery.  Thankfully, by the end of the night, the doctors said that he could eat and he was able to have dinner.  I left telling him that I'd bring food the next day.

Then the next day came and went, and still, he had no sensation or movement in his lower half, and in fact, the paralysis had moved up to his mid abdomen.   I visited him after work, and was happy to see him staying positive and in pretty good spirits.  It helped that his friends were visiting him all day and bringing him food and other comforts from home.  We left that night hearing from the doctors that there wasn't much else they could do for him there, and that he would need to be sent to a bigger hospital, possibly UCLA, which is bigger and has more resources to help him.

Yesterday was my sister's 21st birthday.  I went to work as usual and according to my brother's wishes, had plans to go out with her and some of her friends to The Yardhouse in Long Beach to make sure she got out and enjoyed herself.  She didn't have school that day, and I knew that she'd be home alone all day probably being sad, so I followed the advise from a co-worker of mine and just left work to spend the day with her and spend some time with our brother.  So I left.  Went to my mom's house and surprised my sister.  Took her out to breakfast first, and then we bought a little cake to bring to the hospital so we could have a birthday cake for us to eat with our mom and brother.  We spent the rest of the day there and kept him company.  It made me sad to see that his good spirits were starting to die out and he was getting more and more frustrated and depressed about everything.  I hated hearing him say that everything was a waste and now he'll be nothing and have nothing to do with himself because he won't be able to get up or do anything.  My mom and aunt were there and since they know the medical lingo and have experience with this kind of stuff, they were really upset because they know how serious this condition is and what his chances of ever being able to get up and move will be.   Leaving the hospital, we heard that the next step for my brother was still to transfer him by ambulance to Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center.  The calls had gone through, my mom had pulled strings, and the neurologists and neurosurgeons there had accepted him as a patient and a bed was waiting for him.  However, the accepting doctors want him to be in the ICU and not just in any room, so they said that they'd wait until Monday or Tuesday when a spot in the ICU would open up for him.  Until then, he was to be transferred to the ICU at Long Beach Memorial.  Although UCLA is better, LB Memorial was still better than the hospital he was currently at, so they went ahead and approved him to go there.  When we left, they were calling in the order for the ambulance and getting my brother ready to travel.

Last night, Michael and I went out with Kayla, a couple of our cousins and some of Kayla's friends and had dinner at The Yardhouse.  Before leaving the hospital, my brother had instructed me to order her a couple specific drinks and to make sure she has fun.  Dinner was good, and then I passed on my brother's instructions to my cousins who were going to go with Kayla and her friends to a couple bars.  It was getting late and since we had the baby with us, we needed to go home.

And now, it's Saturday.  Birthday week is almost over, and yet the nightmare of what's going on with my brother seems to be just beginning.  I feel so emotionally drained.  As if going through each day and knowing that my dad is gone isn't hard enough, now my brother's health and well-being is on the line.  My mind and heart and in constant prayer.  :(

No hospital stay is gonna stop us from taking a family picture with our cake!

With our aunt

My sister's "first legal drink"

At The Yardhouse in LB with cousins...
Abbie was being a tourist and was interested in everything else around her